


New Year's Eve 2019

by Phantje



Series: December 2019 [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Advent Calendar 2019, Domestic, Feelings, Fluff, M/M, Sequel, cosy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22051642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantje/pseuds/Phantje
Summary: For about a week, Dan is absolutely ecstatic to call himself Phil's boyfriend. After a family Christmas, they are going to celebrate New Year's Eve in their small family circle, just Dan, Phil and Ash - just as domestic as Dan has always dreamed.A lot of fluff and feelings and talking and just them being themselves, because I could not yet say goodbye to them. :)This is a sequel to the Advent Calendar 2019, but the oneshot should work on its own too!
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: December 2019 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1587211
Comments: 18
Kudos: 32





	New Year's Eve 2019

**Author's Note:**

> Due to popular demand (my mum and my sister mainly), I have decided to write a littel sequel to my Advent Calendar following Dan, Phil and Ash/Phiphi's New Year's Eve. :)   
> I hope you enjoy the glimpse of their life as boyfriends. <3   
> Have a great day and get safely into the new year where other stories will hopefully be waiting for you! :)   
> Lots of love! xx

** Tuesday - 31st of December  **

Dan’s POV 

Dan would never get used to this. At least, he very much hoped, he wouldn’t.

For all eternity, he wanted it to feel special to wake up next to the love of his life – because that was undoubtedly who Phil was to him.

He was the love of his before having met him not that short of miserable life. Phil always played deaf whenever Dan tried to tell him that – then again, Dan’s memory of him wanting to tell Phil was a little fuzzy. He had had a few too many eggnogs at Phil’s parents’ place. He was not usually someone to drink, but on Christmas Day he had a very good reason which was trying to drown out the smushy and emotional feelings that had accumulated and threatened to overtake him after hearing Ash address him as Dada for the first time.

Dan should have known that alcohol was at most a futile attempt at achieving that, but he had always preferred to learn things in hindsight.

Dan had not started slurring his words before Phil had taken him home, but he had been tipsy enough to cling to Phil’s arm for support. Phil’s parents had only smiled and laughed. They had not condemned Dan’s drinking, but as all of them had had at least a glass of sherry more, there was not much condemning that could have come from them.

Phil had simply supported Dan and essentially carried him and Ashley at the same time up the stairs to Phil’s apartment.

Back at Phil’s place, Dan had clung onto Phil’s arm even after he had sat him down on the sofa. And then, Dan vaguely remembered trying to express how much better Phil had made his life.

Phil had seemed unable to hear or at least to understand him, which Dan had conveniently stored in his brain as Phil being unwilling to listen to him when he talked about feelings which was the reason why he had not yet tried to pick the conversation up again.

Phil did not mind Dan talking about feelings, but Dan might still feel ever so slightly awkward doing the talking so pushing it all away and pretending there was a good reason for that worked very well for Dan.

Right now, in moments like these, Dan did not want to think about something that was stressing him out anyways. Right now, was being held securely by Phil in Phil’s bed. The covers were surprisingly evenly spread over both of them so that neither of them was terribly cold.

Dan did not understand how he was supposed to ever feel cold in Phil’s embrace, but Phil had shivered quite a few times in the morning which Dan knew had to be because Dan had somehow hogged the blanket in the night.

No, with Phil’s arm as reassuring weight on top of Dan’s stomach and his warmth coming from the side, there was no other place Dan could imagine in which he would feel nearly as comfortable as in this.

Dan snuggled closer to Phil and hummed contently when Phil tightened his hold on Dan.

“I never knew you to be so happy in the morning.” Phil mumbled, voice still laced with sleep. “Who are you and what have you done with Dan?”

Dan poked Phil’s stomach and pushed himself a little away from him.

He had not yet completely put on his sulking act, when Phil already rubbed his eyes and put his hand back onto Dan’s waist.

“Sorry, I did not mean to offend you. Any reason why you are so happy this early in the morning?” Phil asked, already grinning again.

“All the reasons.” Dan said and hid in Phil’s chest again.

“You have to be clearer than that if you want to communicate with me.” Phil said rubbing Dan’s back gently.

“Did you learn that in a parenting course?” Dan groaned.

“No, from the best.” Phil said. Now, he rolled away from Dan and stretched. He glanced over to him, rolled his eyes and said with a kind smile: “I mean _you_ , Dan.” 

“What? When should I have taught you that?” Dan asked after stretching his arms over his head, copying Phil.

“You sang a song to Phiphi about communicating her wants for you to better understand them.”

Dan only managed to stare at Phil. “I did?”

“Yes. I remember clearly. It was only like two days ago.”

“I have sung to Ash since Christmas?” Dan’s brain truly was a sieve.

“You always sing.”

“And now, I will never sing again.”

“What? No! See, that’s why I don’t talk to you about your songs. I love them, but you feel so determined to hate whatever you create.”

Dan looked at his hands and desperately tried to tell himself that Phil was not completely right with any of that.

“I don’t always hate stuff I created.” Dan said quietly. “I have come to appreciate the Advent Calendar.”

“Appreciate?” Phil sat up and raised his eyebrows at Dan. “You should be proud and beaming!”

“Sorry.” Dan struggled into a sitting position too and looked back at his hands.

“No, don’t apologise.” Phil said. Dan glanced up and saw him rubbing his forehead. “You are amazing and kind and at some point in life, I might succeed in making you look at yourself through my eyes. You’ll see the kindest, most beautiful Dada Phiphi could wish for, and my charades partner for life.”

“You can’t drown me in affectionate stuff this early in the morning.” Dan whined. “I can’t appreciate it all.”

“Affectionate stuff… I would not have noticed you being unable to appreciate it.” Phil sighed.

If Dan cared to think about it, it seemed like it was very much more his obnoxious self that was unable to deal with anyone talking about feelings.

Phil’s soft giggles pulled Dan out of the progressively darker spiral. Phil gently carded through Dan’s hair and smiled his special smile, Dan still felt unworthy of receiving.

“I am very happy that you are here.” Phil said quietly.

In that moment, Ash started crying. Dan sighed and climbed past Phil out of the bed.

“I bet you are.” He said, biting his tongue so as not to laugh.

“Dan… You don’t have to.” Phil said trying to grab Dan’s arm.

“I want to.” Dan said and stepped back towards Phil to kiss his forehead gently.

Feeling warm and light and utterly capable of anything, Dan left Phil’s bedroom after grabbing one of Phil’s jumpers blindly. He made his way over to Ashley’s room.

“Good morning!” Dan sing-sang a couple of times until he reached Ashley’s room.

“Oh what fun it is to be woken by a curly haired person.”

Because Dan took poetry incredibly seriously, he pronounced ‘person’ the same way as ‘woken’. And he sang this line the same way one sang the similar sounding Christmas song.

“I say pe-er-son – because I-I don’t – want you to-o think – of my dog Colin.” Dan sang with the melody he would have used for ‘Riding through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, through the fields we go, laughing all the way.’

“Whom you have not yet had the pleasure to meet.” Dan said in a normal voice while lifting Ash out of her bed.

“If you ever do, he’ll make sure to greet.” Dan held his breath and whispered: “Theatrical pause.”, before picking right up and continuing in a sing-song, rather than properly singing: “you – with a big ‘Woooo’.”

Dan carried Ashley to her changing station and danced a little in the rhythm of this now more like a medley of Christmas songs.

Dan continued singing and ended with his grand finale: “He’s not a wolf, don’t be mistaken. He’s a Tiberian Terrier Woof – all other breeds were too brazen.”

Slowly, with Ashley dressed again, Dan turned around and saw Phil leaning against the doorframe. Dan jumped a little and then came to a halt in his turning.

Phil only stared at Dan with his arms crossed, and somehow, Dan could not read him.

“Why did you stop singing?” Phil demanded eventually.

“I sang?” Dan asked. As soon as he said those words, he did realise that he had in fact been singing. He could even go as far as saying he gave it his all, but somehow, his brain must have deleted that piece of information immediately. Or at least tried to in this case.

“Don’t be daft. Yes, you sang.” Phil said. He pushed himself off the doorframe but still had his arms crossed. “Please continue. You have a nice voice.”

“We both know _that’s_ a lie.”

“Dan!” Phil whined.

“Daaa Daaaa!” Ashely happily chimed in.

“You can’t gang up on me. I won’t tolerate that!” Dan said, already melting.

“We’re not ganging up on you.” Phil pouted.

“You very clearly are. You are making full use of your adorable faces. Yes, you particularly, Ashley.” Dan said, tickling Ash under her chin. The big blue eyes looking up at him would have melted ice caps in an instant.

“If the ganging up is working, not saying it’s happening though, would you please sing again?” Phil asked, with his best adorable face – and that face truly was the best of its kind.

“It doesn’t work when you tell me to rhyme. I need to be unaware and I can’t be thinking about it.” Dan explained and put an additional jumper over Ashley’s top.

“Seems like a lousy excuse, but fine.” Phil said.

“Phil!” Dan whined now.

“I’m joking.” Phil unfolded his arms and smiled. “I will even let you leave if you promise to not stop yourself from singing throughout the day.

Phil stepped into Ashley’s room and put his arms around Dan’s middle. Ash was now sandwiched between them and giggling happily.

“Are we ready for some breakfast?” Dan asked after being as comfortable standing as he had ever been.

“Yes, I need to get working too, unfortunately.” Phil sighed. “It’s just one article, but I can’t get it to sound the way I want.”

“Ha! _I_ could help you with that! Wink, wonk!” Dan laughed and stepped out of Phil’s arms.

“That’s a great idea, actually. I’d like your opinion.”

“You would?” Dan stopped and turned back around to Phil.

“Yes, Dan. Don’t pretend that’s such a revolutionary concept. You write great stories and this article is about stories – at least it’s supposed to be. So, your opinion would be perfect.”

“Oh.” Dan looked at Phil’s face intently. “So you _do_ think the stories were good, do you?”

“Yes.” Phil smiled warmly and patiently at Dan meeting his gaze calmly. “The beauty about all of this is that we have all our lives together. So take as long as you want to realise how great I think you are.”

“Daaa Daaa.” Ashley said again, wiggling in Dan’s arms.

“You have to say Dada. Close together. Dada. That’s me.” Da explained.

“Daaa Daaa.” Ash repeated.

Dan kissed her cheek and sighed. “She is like my mum trying to take a screenshot.”

“Speaking of your mum. Have you answered her yet?” Phil asked kindly and picked Ash out of Dan’s arms.

“I will once I won’t get chocked up just thinking about writing to her.”

“She’ll be waiting for an answer to her present.”

“I reached out first though!”

“Yes. But it’s still your turn again after she sent that gorgeous dress for Phiphi.”

“Yes, I know Mister Post Police.” Dan rolled his eyes and strutted into the kitchen.

“I know she’ll be delighted to hear anything from you. I will send her a pictures of Ash wearing her dress, don’t worry.” Dan said and filled the kettle with water.

“That’s kind of you but only as long as you don’t feel pressured to do so.”

“Of course, I feel pressured, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to do it.” Dan’s shoulders sagged.

Phil walked over to him first placed Ash into Dan’s arms again and then massaged Dan’s shoulders.

“Relax and try to take things easy. I am here for you. We are here for you.”

“Da… da.” Ashley said.

“That’s close enough. Thank you darling.” Dan said and kissed the top of Ashley’s head again.

“Why does she get all the kisses?” Phil whined.

“That’s why. She isn’t annoying.” Dan said.

“Rude.” Phil mumbled before leaning closer, cupping Dan’s cheeks softly and kissing him.

“Daaa!” Ashley interrupted the kiss. Dan felt his face heat up, but not just because of that did he feel warm.

“Breakfast.” Phil said with a wide grin and plopped two teabags into the tea pot before picking Ashley out of Dan’s arms once again because laying the table with one arm was possible whereas getting the bread out of the cupboard for toast wasn’t.

What followed was a routinely dance where Ashley changed from Dan to Phil’s arms repeatedly. Taking part in that dance made Dan feel better than completing any sort of dramatic choreography would have made him feel.

Phil was both Dan’s charades and also dance partner for life.

In the middle of a peaceful breakfast, Dan suddenly started laughing and spewing crumbs over his plate because he was thinking about what it would look like if he and Phil actually performed a choreographed dance.

“What is going on in that funny brain of yours now?” Phil sighed, but his eyes were twinkling amusedly.

Dan shared his train of thought which first made Phil first squeeze Dan’s hand tightly and then made him laugh loudly too.

“You are ridiculous, and I love you.” Phil held his tummy and continued laughing for a while.

“You are just as ridiculous, and I love you just as much.” Dan said and took the bread out of Phil’s hand in order to continue feeding Ashley.

After breakfast, Phil took Ash with him to his desk to get properly started with the article and Dan tidied the kitchen. There was not much for him to do, but even a task as mundane as washing dishes in Phil’s kitchen felt thrilling as soon as Dan remembered, that he was doing this as Phil’s boyfriend who lived here as much as Phil did.

“You know that there is nothing I love more than seeing you smile.” Phil greeted Dan when he came back into the living room.

“But?”

“But it does creep me out to see you so delighted over nothing.”

“You being my boyfriend is nothing, is it?”

“Why do I love you when your favourite pastime seems to be twisting my words around in your mouth?” Phil whined and pretended to cry into Ashley’s hair.

“Da…da.” Ash said and looked around to Dan. Phil’s fake crying was good enough to fool his daughter.

“You can’t scare our daughter like that, Phil!” Dan scolded and walked over them swiftly, picking Ashley out of Phil’s arms.

Phil stopped pretending to cry and just stared at Dan.

“What?”

Phil did not move a muscle and simply continued staring at Dan.

“What is the matter Philip?” Dan asked.

“You…” Phil stood up and took a step towards Dan.

“I?”

“You said… ‘our daughter’.” Phil said, eyes blown wide.

“I did.” Dan said slowly. “Did you not want me to…”

Phil did not let Dan finish his question but crashed their lips together.

“We are a proper family.” Phil whispered and kissed Dan a little tamer, one hand softly stroking the nape of Dan’s neck, the other holding him close on his hips.

“We are.” Dan murmured and closed his eyes, getting lost in the kiss once again.

“There is nothing I’d like more than continuing to kiss you for all eternity, but I think maybe we should respect Phiphi’s comfort zone and stop kissing in front of her.”

Dan had no control over his face and was unable to stop the blush from forming.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Dan Howell.” Phil nudged Dan.

“You are ridiculous!” Dan called out strutted over to the stack of Ashley’s picture books.

For one morning, he had done way too much strutting already.

Ashley pulled an empty shoebox over to Dan which Dan knew to interpret as her wanting him to read a story. The Advent Calendar box had impressed her as much as that she now always pulled boxes towards either Dan or Phil whenever she wanted a story read to her.

Dan looked at picture books with Ashley for a little more than half an hour before she got bored and moved over to her stuffed animals.

Dan leaned back and watched Ashley wiggle her toys around, evidently forming stories in her mind while doing so.

“Could you open the window for a second?” Phil asked.

“Sure. It is uncharacteristically warm for your ice chamber.” Dan rolled his eyes and stood up.

“Come on, a bit of fresh air won’t kill you.” Phil laughed.

“No, but it could make me sick.”

“I am way closer to the window than you are.”

“And why is it me opening the window then?”

Phil turned around abruptly and pretended he couldn’t hear Dan. Dan laughed, opened the window, dropped a kiss onto the top of Phil’s head and then went back to join Ashley with her toys.

When Ashley was done with her toys, Dan grabbed sheets of paper and drew with her.

They drew well into the afternoon. The main indication for time passing was Ash getting crankier and crankier when pencils slipped out of her hands.

“I think it’s time you slept a little bit.” Dan said and picked Ash up whose chin was all crumbled up with tears in her eyes.

“We need you at your happiest when we greet the new year.” Dan stood up and rocked Ashley about. “A good nap and you’ll feel tons better, I promise.”

Putting Ash to sleep was generally speaking not a hard task. Having to stop her from crying at the same time required a bit more effort, but eventually, Dan was successful, and Ashley peacefully slept in her tiny bed, filling Dan’s heart with warmth.

Dan returned to the living room and sat down on a sofa.

“Dan…” Phil said. Dan jumped up immediately. He had not been surprised as much as that he was shocked at how husky Phil’s voice sounded.

“You could have at least closed the window yourself again, couldn’t you have?” Dan said crossly.

“Dan…” Phil started, but Dan walked straight past him into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

“You are not mad, are you?” Phil called.

“No!” Dan shouted crossly.

“Okay…” Phil answered, and his typing resumed.

When the kettle was done, Dan made a cup of tea with some honey and returned to Phil.

“Here, have this.” Dan said and placed the cup down next to Phil’s computer.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have.” Phil smiled.

“True dat.” Dan said and hooked his chin over Phil’s shoulder. “You can’t get sick on the last day of the Year.”

“I’ll try not to.” Phil huskily whispered into Dan’s ear which made him feel very warm and put him into peculiar circumstances. Fine, he felt hot and bothered.

“You need to continue working for us to have a festive evening.” Dan said and put some distance between him and Phil.

“But I don’t want to.” Phil turned around to him, and Dan wondered again just how Phil could make him feel flustered one second only to melt his heart the next with his puppy eyes.

“I’ll wait patiently and longingly.” Dan rolled his eyes.

Phil groaned. “You made it worse! It’s way harder for me to concentrate right now!”

“Tough luck.” Dan said, which was the most mature answer he could give in response to feeling hot and bothered once again.

In order to distract himself, Dan sat down at the couch table and with Ashley’s pencils started sketching out a story that had formed in his mind during breakfast. It was another story for Ash, but it was just as much also his way of talking about feelings to Phil.

“What are you doing?” Phil asked after a while.

“Working. As should you.” Dan said.

“Thinking of new advertisement strategies and slogans for Costa lot?” Phil wiggled his eyebrows.

“No. You have now lost all privileges of me telling you what I am actually working on.” Dan glared at Phil.

“What? Dan you can’t do that.” Phil said, stretching the ‘do’ unnecessarily and annoyingly endearingly.

“Just watch me.”

“I am.”

“Phil, stop it. I am working.” Dan groaned and turned away completely. His face was heating up once again which was inconvenient to say the least.

The story was completed not long before Ashley made noises in her bedroom again.

Dan carefully folded his papers and pushed himself off the sofa to look after Ash. He welcomed her back into her awake state with a song that he could not possibly recall the topic of. He heard Phil snickering in the living room, so not thinking about the song’s topic was probably for the best.

When Ashley was dressed in a cosy outfit, Dan returned to the living room and handed her over to Phil, who was still seated at the desk working.

“I am nearly done too.” Phil told Ash and Dan too.

Dan nodded and quickly made his way to the bathroom.

The cruel thing about Dan was that he could be feeling completely fine one minute and then plummet suddenly without any warning whatsoever.

In this case, Dan jumped at seeing his reflection in the mirror. He looked a little worse for wear. He looked the opposite of clean really. He looked like he had not put any effort into his appearance. Strictly speaking, that was true, but to think that he should have already stopped trying to impress Phil did not sit well with him.

He had been his boyfriend for not even a week, and he had already stopped giving his all – or so it suddenly seemed in Phil’s badly lit bathroom.

Without letting either Phil or Ash notice him, Dan quickly made his way to Phil’s bedroom and changed from Phil’s jumper into a tighter stripy shirt that accentuated what little of his body he was proud of.

After trying to somewhat style his hair, Dan made his way back to the living room and tried to nonchalantly sit back down with Ashley and play with her and her toys.

Phil distractedly smiled at him and then turned back to his computer. Dan did not let that get to him. What mattered most with things like these was that he put active effort into his appearance. Phil did not need to notice in order for it to affect the whole atmosphere pleasantly.

For at least one more hour, Phil worked on his article, typing quickly and rhythmically. Dan enjoyed the background noise and tried to be as quiet with Ashley as he could.

Phil had told him before that he enjoyed having them around him, but in order for Phil to finish as quickly as possible and to have most of their time as a team of three, Dan tried to be quiet.

Being quiet entailed whispering dialogue to Ash. Dan made up voices for a couple of Ashley’s stuffed toys and wiggled them around, making Ash giggle delightedly more often than not.

When Dan could no longer think of any proper dialogues and he felt like Phil should finish rather soon anyways, he started playing the floor is lava with Ashley and her stuffed toys. They were climbing over furniture and avoiding the floor while laughing together.

Dan grabbed a small stuffed toy and nearly threw it through the room which confused Ash, so Dan held the toy to his face and said: “Oh, hello Mr Butterfly. It’s good to meet you.”

He held the toy to his ear. “What was that? What? You’re a moth?” Dan made silly faces but then pulled himself together and said with a small bow: “No. Of course. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Ash giggled again. Dan picked her up and jumped over a small part of the floor onto the carpet.

“Face your fears!” Dan shouted before collapsing with Ashley onto his stomach.

“What a beautiful performance.” Phil said. Dan looked up to him. He had not noticed that Phil had got up from his desk. He had also not noticed him taking pictures, if the phone in his hand was any indication. And he had not noticed him leaving the room, which he must have done when he was now back with a jumper over his arm.

Phil pushed his phone into his trouser pocket and threw the jumper over to Dan.

“You looked cold, gorgeous.” Phil said plainly. “Also, I love indulging myself with seeing you wear my clothes.”

Dan had not been ready for this attack – not one aspect of it. Whenever his brain was circulating like this, his face was certain to heat up.

Phil closed the distance and sat down next to Dan on the carpet.

“You’re uncharacteristically high up on the blush-o-meter scale. What’s wrong?” Phil asked.

“Why do you always notice?” Dan mumbled, toying with the hem of the jumper.

“Erm, it could be because your pale face suddenly has the colour of a ripe tomato, but I could be mistaken…” Phil nudged Dan gently.

“Very funny.” Dan sighed.

“Oh Dan. I am not fond of your mood-swings. You are hard to keep up with anyways. Keeping track of whether you are feeling ecstatic or depressed is tricky.”

“Sorry.”  
“No. That’s on me. You are you, and it’s my responsibility to understand you as a boyfriend.”

As if on cue, a long sigh left Dan’s mouth.

“Was that as much of a reason to sigh?” Phil asked carefully. Dan hated how scared he sounded. Why could he not be a better boyfriend when this was all he had ever dreamed about?

“I am scared about not trying hard enough as a boyfriend.” Dan mumbled.

“Excuse me. Did I get that right? You worry about not ‘trying hard enough’?” Phil asked slowly. “You?”

“Yes.” Dan nodded. He gently placed Ashley into Phil’s lap and pulled the jumper over his head.

“You.”

“Yes. I walk around like an idiot, or well the opposite of a sight for sore eyes… You are my dream come true. I feel bad for not putting more effort in. I should want to look beautiful for you, but the effort does not come naturally to me.” Dan mumbled a large part of that confession into the collar of the jumper, but Phil seemed to have understood him anyways.

“I think it’s beautiful that you are so comfortable around us as not to be self-conscious. Also. Just for the record, you are the person that is always trying their hardest – no one compares to you.” Phil smiled and then suddenly scrambled for his words: “And, also: You are always gorgeous in my eyes.”

Dan smiled at Phil. He could not but trust Phil’s honest and open eyes.

Maybe Dan had even been a little bad to suspect Phil to be in any way superficial. Phil loved him for who he was not for who he made himself out to be.

“Enough self-reproaching for today.” Phil said gently. “Please.” He added, and Dan’s smile widened. Of course, Phil would be able to read his mind on tip of everything else.

“I’ll try.” Dan said and grabbed Phil’s hand.

“And that is as much as I can ever ask of you.”

Dan leaned his head onto Phil’s shoulder and took a couple of deep breaths to really focus his attention on the moment at hand.

The peace was somewhat disturbed when Ashley wiggled free and pulled a box over to them.

“Actually, there is another thing I would like to ask of you.” Phil grinned. “Could you tell Phiphi a story? It doesn’t have to be an original one. Just talk to her and let me listen.”

Dan smiled. “You are in luck, because I just happened to have a story I really want to tell the two of you.”

“Oh thank goodness. I hoped that was what you were doing earlier, but I did not dare to ask. You have gifted too many amazing things already this month – this year. I can’t even begin to express how thankful I am.”

“Then don’t try. You make yourself seem less legitimate with every word you say.”

“And for that, you’ll have to listen to me praise you for a minimum of five minutes.” Phil said and stared Dan down while he did exactly that.

“Thank you.” Dan said meekly, once Phil was done.

“Yes, Dan. You are welcome.” Phil said proudly. “Now, you can tell your story.”

“Oh can I?” Dan rolled his eyes.

“Yes.” Phil rolled his in turn and even poked out his tongue at Dan.

“This is a story about lights…”

“Does this story have a title?” Phil asked.

“You saw me plan it on scraps of paper with Ashley’s pencils…”

“Does it?”

“You are my light.” Dan admitted reluctantly.

Phil smiled brightly and motioned for Dan to continue for which Dan whacked his head.

**YOU ARE MY LIGHT**

_This is a story about lights. Not just any lights. This is a story about a special set of lights that are highly trained performers. These lights are very proud of their training. They are so proud, in fact, that a hint to their training can be found in their name. The lights we are learning about today are called: fireworks._

_Bright shining lights, as bright as pure flames that have put a lot of work into their training and their performance. That is what fireworks are. They are performers._

_For the entire year, groups of different lights train and work together for one grand End of Year Performance._

_The very young lights start their training for the EYP in May. The older lights start as late as August and the special units of elaborate performances start as early as March. You might wonder why not even those lights that need the most practice and training for a flawless performance start earlier than that. The reason for March is simply, that fireworks need to cool off, as the name suggests, before they can train again._

_In this story, we want to look at the little light Brown. Last year, Brown started training in May. The EYP was so successful that Brown has moved up to starting to train in March. Brown trains with other brown coloured lights for some aspects of the performance, but his favourite performance team has to be the one where he dances and performs together with Blue. Mixed colour displays have always been a favourite of Brown’s._

_The brown and blue lights mix well together and create a lovely contrast that the dark night sky will only enhance once it is time for the EYP._

_Ever since March, Brown has learned several different figures, formations, sequences and movements. To learn the individual sequences of all different figures does not do much if you don’t know the movements to the sequences or the formations from one figure to the next._

_Once Brown felt secure in his mastering of the brown figures, he and his team moved on to the mixed colour formations. Brown felt himself trying harder and therefore shining brighter whenever he was working alongside Blue. Blue had an indescribable grace to him that made him unparalleled by any other lights Brown had ever seen._

_Moving with him was a special kind of magic. Even the simplest of figures were nerve-wracking for Brown because Blue’s touch electrified him and made everything special._

_Brown worked hard and prepared well for the trainings so that Blue too felt the effect of their working together. Soon, Brown and Blue complemented each other so well that a new, never before seen colour emerged when they were dancing together. Due to their flowing movements, Brown and Blue were approached by the coordinating light and asked to perform a special dance to be the highlight of the EYP together with a very young and endearing light Red. Neither Brown nor Blue needed to think matters through long. They agreed and took training for the EYP to the next level so that when it was time for the EYP, the dance had become part of their nature and throughout the performance humans, animals and plants alike were fascinated by their performance._

_For the highlight of the EYP, Brown held Blue close and spun him around while Red clung to them, creating beautiful swirls in the sky evoking feelings of love in everyone that laid eyes on the performance._

_From that EYP onwards Brown and Blue and also Red were inseparable and remain the brightest and most awestriking light._

Dan finished his story and folded the paper. It had felt at least slightly better to be able to fold a nicely copied story than to have to hide his ugly scribbles as quickly as possible.

“Could you do me huge favour?” Phil asked.

Dan turned to look at him and held his breath. He had no idea what this was going to be about.

“Could you write that story down and add it to the Advent Calendar as an extra chapter?”

“If you really want me to.” Dan said and sighed a big sigh of relief.

“Of course I want you to. I still have no idea how your brain works, all I know is that I want to keep if possible all stories you have ever created for Phiphi.”

“I can do that if you show me the article you have written.” Dan said.

Phil grinned and immediately stood up. Dan felt a little like the wind had been taken out of his sails.

“You did not think I would let you read the article so willingly, did you?” Phil asked challengingly.

“Of course, I did.” Dan lied.

“Just read and don’t be too harsh in your critique.” Phil mumbled.

“Yeah right.” Dan laughed and started reading.

The first thing Dan noticed when reading the article was that the voice that was speaking to him was clearly Phil’s, but that he sounded different to what his texts for instance sounded like.

Weirdly enough, reading an article by Phil that was going to be published always felt like reading Phil’s grown-up self. Dan had of course by now realised that he too was supposed to be a grown-up and an actual adult by now, but there was still something distinctly wise.

Phil’s article was about the importance of reading out loud. Reading out loud helped forming bonds between you and your child. It was a way to make your child be acquainted intimately with your voice. With forging voices for different characters, your child will learn different nuances to your voice but also to language in general that would otherwise be difficult to acquire.

An additional very interesting aspect of Phil’s article was the theory that reading out loud also helped to form a bond between you and your partner. In letting someone in on the process of reading out loud and imitating different characters, you were opening yourself up. Also, you were all in the same boat, going down the same story stream together which was the ideal place to form strong and lasting bonds.

“And that is why you get paid for your texts.” Dan said when he handed Phil his computer back. “I could not think of half the formulations you have in that article.”

“No, they come naturally to you. That is the difference between us. I have to think of them, and you just feel them.”

“You are deliberately missing my point.” Dan said and folded his arms in front of his chest.

“Impossible.” Phil smiled. “So. Does that mean you liked it then?”

“Yes.” Dan quickly unfolded his arms and squeezed Phil’s knee. “I really liked your article. And I love that it implies that we have formed an even stronger bond through reading out loud together.”

“Implied? Dan! That was as much of clear stating as I could possibly achieve!” Phil groaned. “You are truly the definition of exasperating.”

“Thank you.”

“Case. In. Point.”

Phil giggled, so Dan put more pressure onto his squeeze on Phil’s knee which made Phil first squeal and then jump up. He sat Ashley down on the sofa and then ran around the living room.

Dan did not hesitate to jump up and run after him.

While Dan and Phil were chasing each other through the living room, Ash was alternating shouting “Daaa Daaa!” and “Da Da!”

With something like a start Dan realised that this was as happy as he had ever been the entire year – and that while actually doing sport in the form of a physically straining activity.

Dan had to stop running because he was laughing too hard. Phil stopped too and tilted his head in confusion.

“Only you can make me this happy while running.”

“You have no idea how positively delighted that makes me feel.” Phil said. He smiled, closed the distance and kissed Dan. Long enough for Dan to melt into the kiss, but not long enough for him to loose himself completely, which was for the best, considering their daughter was still in the same room, even if she was busy with her cuddly toys.

Phil’s POV 

Phil’s year had been nothing but turbulent. Phiphi had arrived in his life, had in fact essentially taken over his entire life. Phil had become a father in the sole charge of his daughter with a lot of support from his family and from Dan of course.

Phil had grown as a person. In the end, he had allegedly even grown as much as that he deserved to be Dan’s one and only boyfriend. No. The boyfriend of the one and only Dan. That was putting it the right way around. That was stressing what was truly remarkable.

Phil was lucky enough to call himself Dan’s boyfriend.

He had only been able to do that for the last week of the year, but that was already enough to label the year as the best he had ever had.

Phil finally felt like he had settled and arrived home. That might have seemed a little ironic considering the fact that he was going to move houses soon.

Phil did not feel like he had arrived home because of a certain house or apartment. He felt like he had arrived home because he had found his place in Dan’s heart and he had secured Dan’s place in his own heart.

With Dan and Phiphi at Phil’s side, he would never again have to feel like he was without a home ever again.

There was no better feeling that Phil could have wished for to wake up to on the morning of the last day of the year.

Phil was home and the person that made every place his home was right next to him, in his arms, in fact.

Throughout the day, Dan was no further away than a couple of meters, simply because Phil’s current apartment wasn’t any bigger than that.

Sometimes, Dan felt a little further away in thought when he was contemplating things, but Phil tried hard to keep up with him and turn the pages quickly enough in order to stay on the same one as Dan. This required effort, but as Phil would have blindly run a marathon for Dan (which was one of the last things any of his doctors would advise him to do, presumably), this did not put any strain on him.

Having to work on the last day of the year was only bearable because Dan and Phiphi created a very pleasant background noise for Phil to work to. He also still had Dan’s song from the morning stuck in his head. That together with the subject of his article right in front of him enable Phil to make good progress with his article.

The only problem with essentially writing about Dan and his effects on everyone through reading out loud, was that Phil had chosen the one topic in which he was absolutely adamant about being perfectly precise about everything.

He wanted to portray Dan correctly. In his lifelong task of making Dan see how much Phil cherished him, Phil needed to really find the right tone for the article.

Towards the afternoon, Phil was slowly getting done with the article. He had been duly distracted by Dan a couple of times, the worst of which had been when Dan had suddenly decided to change into a very attention seeking shirt of his and then proceeded to work on something he would not tell Phil about.

Dan was distracting and gorgeous no matter what he did, but something about him looking both gorgeous, alluring and vulnerable made it very difficult for Phil to concentrate on the last leg of his article.

When Phiphi woke up from her nap, Dan disappeared into her room again and then played various games with her and her stuffed animals.

Quietly, Phil finished his article and then went to get Dan a warm jumper. He was climbing through the living room and might feel even colder than he already looked. It was not terribly warm in the living room and yet Dan was only wearing a thin shirt. Those sorts of shirts should generally be forbidden in the company of people that actually wanted to concentrate on something.

Before Phil handed Dan the jumper, he made use of being unperceived and took a few pictures of Dan and Phiphi. Surprisingly, now that he did not have to convince his mother that he was dating Dan, he was far more willing and even eager to spam her with pictures of either just Dan and Phiphi or all three of them.

When Dan noticed Phil, Phil threw the jumper over to Dan.

“You looked cold, gorgeous. Also, I love indulging myself with seeing you wear my clothes.” There was no use lying to Dan. Admittedly, it was also funny sometimes to observe what the truth did to Dan.

Phil was a bad person, because he enjoyed Dan being uncomfortable. Well, he enjoyed seeing Dan blush, but only as long as it was within bounds.

This time around, his face seemed to heat up that extra bit more.

Delicately, Phil tried to address this fact.

“You’re uncharacteristically high up on the blush-o-meter scale. What’s wrong?” Well, he tried. 

“Why do you always notice?” Dan was speaking quietly and focusing on the jumper and not on Phil.

“Erm, it could be because your pale face suddenly has the colour of a ripe tomato, but I could be mistaken…” Phil had taken the unsensitive route, so he needed to follow it now. To show he meant it kindly, he bumped his shoulder against Dan’s gently. 

“Very funny.” Dan sighed.

“Oh Dan.” His sigh had pulled at Phil’s heart strings as always.

“I am not fond of your mood-swings. You are hard to keep up with anyways. Keeping track of whether you are feeling ecstatic or depressed is tricky.” The truth was hopefully a good way to go about this.

“Sorry.”  
“No. That’s on me. You are you, and it’s my responsibility to understand you as a boyfriend.”

Again, Dan sighed. Phil felt the pull on his heart strings again, but he was not so sure of Dan’s sentiment behind the sigh anymore.

“Was that as much of a reason to sigh?”

“I am scared about not trying hard enough as a boyfriend.”

“Excuse me. Did I get that right? You worry about not ‘trying hard enough’? You?”

“Yes.” Dan did not look at Phil. He only nodded and then put Phiphi onto Phil’s lap to pull the jumper Phil had brought him over his head.

“You.” Phil repeated.

“Yes. I walk around like an idiot, or well the opposite of a sight for sore eyes… You are my dream come true. I feel bad for not putting more effort in. I should want to look beautiful for you, but the effort does not come naturally to me.” Dan had not spoken loudly, but Phil heard him clearly in his ear.

“I think it’s beautiful that you are so comfortable around us as not to be self-conscious. Also. Just for the record, you are the person that is always trying their hardest – no one compares to you.” Phil was happy with that short speech before realising that he had missed a crucial part: “And, also: You are always gorgeous in my eyes.”

Phil was relieved to see Dan smiling at him properly again. A few moments later the smile seemed to slip a tiny bit, so Phil carefully said: “Enough self-reproaching for today. Please.”

Dan’s smile widened again.

“I’ll try.” Dan grabbed Phil’s hand.

“And that is as much as I can ever ask of you.”

This would have been the perfect sentence to end this conversation with. It would have actually been amazing to end the year with that sentence, but not talking for the remainder of the day was obviously not an option.

In fact, not speaking even for a few minutes was not an option, as Phiphi got active and pulled an empty box over to them which was both a sign that she wanted to hear a story and the perfect cue for Phil to start speaking once again.

“Actually, there is another thing I would like to ask of you.” Phil started smiling. “Could you tell Phiphi a story? It doesn’t have to be an original one. Just talk to her and let me listen.”

Dan also smiled. “You are in luck, because I just happened to have a story I really want to tell the two of you.”

Somehow, they had already established a routine in which they were unable to start either telling or listening to a story before they had discussed some thing or other in detail.

This time, Dan dared to doubt Phil’s sincerity in wanting to hear another of his original stories, which obviously and inevitably led to Phil holding a five minute monologue (that he even roughly timed with the clock on the wall) about all the things Phil loved about Dan.

Five minutes was not enough to list everything, but it was enough to make Dan take him seriously.

When Phil was done with his monologue, Dan thanked him weekly.

Phil was appropriately proud of his work and answered: “Yes, Dan. You are welcome. Now, you can tell your story.”

“Oh can I?” Dan rolled his eyes.

“Yes.” Phil said and returned the favour with an addition of a poked-out tongue. 

“This is a story about lights…”

“Does this story have a title?” Phil interrupted Dan.

“You saw me plan it on scraps of paper with Ashley’s pencils…”

“Does it?”

“You are my light.” Dan said quietly.

Phil felt his mouth stretch into a wide smile. He waved his hand for Dan to continue and actually accepted the slap on his hand as an appropriate reaction of Dan’s.

The story Dan had written that day was truly one of Dan’s original stories. Very clearly, Dan, Phil and Phiphi featured in it and added an extra bit of loveliness to an already very adorable story.

Phil knew what he had missed in the days since Christmas with not getting to hear one of Dan’s stories each day.

Of course, Dan had got it all wrong. He was the light in Phil and Phiphi’s life and not the other way around, but the story still worked even with that small lapse of accuracy.

“Could you do me huge favour?” Phil asked when Dan had finished telling the story.

Dan only looked at him blankly. It truly was adorable how insecure Dan was about is work. Heart-breaking but still somehow adorable.

“Could you write that story down and add it to the Advent Calendar as an extra chapter?”

“If you really want me to.”

“Of course I want you to. I still have no idea how your brain works, all I know is that I want to keep if possible all stories you have ever created for Phiphi.”

“I can do that if you show me the article you have written.” Dan said with what Phil suspected to be a smug grin.

Phil one-upped Dan and stood up immediately.

“You did not think I would let you read the article so willingly, did you?” Phil asked with his version of a smug grin, which hit the mark way more full on than Dan’s had done, in his opinion.

“Of course, I did.” Dan was very good at feigning confidence though.

Suddenly, Phil did not feel confident at all. “Just read and don’t be too harsh in your critique.” 

“Yeah right.” Dan’s laugh calmed Phil down, but as soon as Dan focused on the article, the nerves were back.

It was a nerve-racking experience to see Dan read something Phil had written. On top of that something he had written that he wanted the okay to feel proud of. Most of all, he also wanted Dan’s approval and maybe even praise.

Maybe, in the whole of December, Phil had not taken the toll that reading his own stories had taken on Dan seriously enough.

“And that is why you get paid for your texts.” Dan said and handed the computer back to Phil. “I could not think of half the formulations you have in that article.”

“No, they come naturally to you. That is the difference between us. I have to think of them, and you just feel them.”

“You are deliberately missing my point.” Dan folded his arms which he always did when he wanted to look like he was sulking. 

“Impossible.” Phil smiled. “So. Does that mean you liked it then?”

“Yes.” Phil loved how Dan senses (the same way he did) when a few honest words amid their teasing were appropriate.

“I really liked your article. And I love that it implies that we have formed and even stronger bond through reading out loud together.”

“Implied? Dan! That was as much of clear stating as I could possibly achieve!” Phil just about managed to stop himself from rubbing his forehead once again. “You are truly the definition of exasperating.”

“Thank you.”

“Case. In. Point.”

Phil giggled, and as has happened so often before, that somehow resulted in Dan chasing Phil through the living room accompanied by their laughs and Phiphi’s cheers.

Just as suddenly as everything had happened with Dan that day, Dan paused all of a sudden and laughed loudly. He was being shaken by his laughs.

“Only you can make me this happy while running.” Dan said managed to explain.

“You have no idea how positively delighted that makes me feel.” Phil said honestly.

In a few quick steps, he was next to Dan and kissed him.

No kiss with Dan ever felt like it was long enough, but that day had been practically littered with days that were painfully short because Phiphi was there too.

Phiphi was far from ever being something negative, and yet, Phil could not help regretting not being able to kiss Dan the way he so clearly deserved.

“Is it time for an early afternoon tea?” Phil asked and stepped away with Dan. Interesting how every centimetre seemed to hurt.

“Are we skipping lunch completely?”

“Yes. We will be having enough on our plates later to not get hungry.”

“I’ll trust you this once.” Dan said dramatically and scooped Phiphi up from the sofa.

“Should we watch a Christmas movie with some tea and biscuits and then get ready for the grand fête this evening?” Phil asked.

“You weren’t joking when you said we would dress up?” Dan asked with a look of horror on his face.

“No. I wasn’t joking. I have a nice shirt I have wanted to wear for ages, and I can’t possibly miss this opportunity of putting Phiphi into the adorable dress your mother sent her.”

“Fine, but I am only doing that because I love you.”

“I have no idea what point you are trying to get across with that. I am absolutely delighted that you play along because you love me. I can’t see any downsides.”

Dan groaned and made his way into the kitchen.

“You are aware that you have done a fair bit of strutting today?” Phil asked, careful to keep a distance to Dan in which he could not directly hit him.

“Yes. Thank you.” Dan blew a raspberry at Phil which was always an invitation for Phiphi to join in.

After a bit of discussing, Dan and Phil managed to settle for Arthur Christmas as their movie of choice.

When they had all finished their teas with a dash of milk or milk with a dash of tea, Phil got his duvet covers out of his room and the three of them got properly comfortable on the sofa.

When the credits had rolled over the screen completely, Phil gently pushed Dan off the sofa.

“I am going to help Phiphi get dressed. You can get ready too.”

“You have a very interesting way of expressing orders.”

Phil carried Phiphi into her room and heard Dan take a shower. It was no surprise that he was done sooner with Phiphi. She looked absolutely adorable in her deep red dress with a tiny white lace collar.

“I have figured out why you wanted me to get ready first. You want me to cook, don’t you? Not that a cheesy pasta casserole is difficult, but just know that I have you all figured out.” Dan shouted from the bathroom.

“I had absolutely no malicious intentions behind my suggestion.” Phil called back.

“Liar!”

“Just come out.” Phil said impatiently.

He really shouldn’t have rushed Dan. He should have given him time because that would have given him the opportunity to prepare for Dan too.

With slightly wet hair and adorably flushed cheeks, Dan came out of the bathroom in tight black trousers with a black shirt with golden details that had at least two buttons too few for Phil’s blood pressure.

“You look amazing.”

“Liar.”

“Gorgeous.”

“Liar.” Dan sounded less certain.

“Breath-taking.”

“You’re not lying?” Dan asked.

“We’re getting there.” Phil grinned. He walked over to Dan and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He handed Phiphi to him and positioned them in front of Tommy the Christmas tree.

Before Dan understood what he was doing, Phil took an essentially candid picture.

“Please send this to your mother with my warmest greetings.” Phil said, handing Dan his phone.

Dan nodded and slowly sat down on the sofa, focusing on the phone in his hand.

“I won’t be long.” Phil promised and quickly grabbed his things from the bedroom before taking a shower himself.

Phil kept his promise and was back relatively soon. He was, however, not quick enough to stop Dan from crying. Then again, Dan had always been a big advocate of crying being a very healthy form of catharsis, which did of course not mean that Phil did not worry about him.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked and rubbed Dan’s back.

“She answered. Almost immediately.” Dan said, still in some form of shock.

“What did she say?” Phil asked gently.

“She said I looked amazing and as happy as she had always hoped I would eventually allow myself to be.” Dan stopped speaking for a moment and then added: “She said she is proud of me and hopes that the new year will bring us all the good fortunes.”

“That’s very kind of her.” Phil said and put and arm around Dan’s middle.

“Yeah.”

A few more tears found their way down Dan’s cheeks, but he soon calmed down. Before making dinner, he insisted on freshening up in the bathroom. When he emerged, he looked just as gorgeous, maybe even prettier with the feeling of content he was emitting.

Together, Dan and Phil made the cheesy pasta casserole and then while waiting for the dish to cook and after having eaten, sang along to all sorts of songs they could find on YouTube.

Phiphi was giggling happily and dancing along to them.

It was an unusual New Year’s Eve, but it was undoubtedly also one of the nicest ones Phil had ever spent.

“What use would dressing up be if we don’t go into public for a short while?” Phil asked when both Dan and Phiphi showed signs of tiredness.

“I should have known you wanted to lure me out.” Dan groaned.

“Actually, you gave me the idea.”

“I did?” Dan looked horrified.

“Yes. In your story. I want to go to the park and watch a couple of fireworks.” Phil smiled.

Dan blushed, opened his mouth in protest, then shook his head and eventually lowered his head in defeat.

“Fine, but you need to wrap up warm. I will not have you catch a cold on the last day of the year!”

About fifteen minutes later, the three of them were wrapped up warm and on their way to the nearest park which would be the best clearing from which to look at fireworks.

Phil had insisted on strapping Phiphi to his tummy, which Dan only consented to as long as Phil promised to let him carry her back.

Their useless bickering in order to spare the one of the slightest and potential-est strain were always highlights of Phil which should have maybe been worrisome but felt completely normal and comfortable.

In the park, Phil did not know where to look. He was constantly torn between looking at Phiphi’s head eagerly following the lights, the lights themselves or the prettiest sight that was Dan gaping and the performance in front of him. He had opened his eyes so much that the lights were clearly visible in the reflection.

Phil would have loved to mentally burn that image of pure bliss into his mind forever. If this situation showed him one thing, it showed how head over heels in love he was with Dan.

When Phil’s nose started feeling cold, he gently squeezed Dan’s hand. Dan understood immediately, insisted on carrying Phiphi on the way back, grabbed Phil’s hand and lead the way home.

Phil could once again not stop smiling, especially when Dan’s words from earlier in the day echoed through his mind. Phiphi was their daughter. They were a family.

Back home, Dan and Phil went to put Phiphi into her pyjamas and then proceeded to sing her to sleep. Phil did not think that he and Dan would ever become professional singers, but there was no denying that they tried hard and that they poured their hearts and soul into the lullaby for their daughter.

“Would you like a hot chocolate?” Dan whispered into Phil’s ear while pulling Phiphi’s door a little closer.

“I’d love one.” Phil said. He laced their hands together and pulled Dan into the kitchen.

“I don’t know about you, but that was the perfect end of the year.” Dan said while pouring milk into a pot.

“This December was ten thousand times better than I could have ever hoped for.” Phil smiled, leaning against the kitchen table, just looking at Dan.

“Any particular reason for that?” Dan laughed and glanced over his shoulder.

“On the top of my head, I can only remember mum allowing me to drink a glass of sherry on Christmas Day.” Phil said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Oh yes. That was monumental, I agree. One of my favourite moments was actually witnessing you having that glass of sherry.”

“Was it?” Phil laughed.

“Yes, you see. I would have hardly witnessed that had you not asked me to be your fake boyfriend only to get around to actually asking me out right before Christmas.”

“You really don’t have to make all of my jokes worthless with adding depth to them.” Phil smiled.

“I am not even going to apologise.”

“I am proud of you.” Phil laughed.

“Thank you.” Dan glanced back over his shoulder once again and grinned at Phil.

Phil felt his mouth run dry with Dan leaning against the counter like that, but he quickly closed his eyes and enjoyed the comfortable silence.

“All done.” Dan said a while later. He put the stove off and handed a cup of hot chocolate to Phil who accepted it eagerly.

Not entirely like themselves, Dan and Phil stayed standing or rather leaning opposite each other in the kitchen.

“For real. You are the best thing about my year.” Phil said when he was halfway done with his cup.

“You can’t just steal my words and leave me with nothing meaningful to say.” Dan said after he had finished his hot chocolate and placed the cup into the sink.

Phil put his cup behind him on the table and closed the distance between him and Dan.

“You only have meaningful things to say and you have done so all throughout December. Let me have this one, please.” Phil said, staring deeply into Dan’s eyes.

“You know you can have everything you want.” Dan answered in a low whisper.

All of Phil’s self-control crumbled. He took one last step closer, gently pulled Dan closer around his waist and kissed him. Softly at first, but then Dan put his hands around Phil’s neck, allowing Phil to pull Dan a little closer.

Phil gently tilted Dan’s head and deepened the kiss. His eyes had long fallen shut. All he could hear, smell, taste and scent was Dan. It was nearly too much and at the same time by far not enough.

The deepening of the kiss must have surprised Dan, because he jumped a little and hiccupped.

“You’re so cute.” Phil murmured, which somehow registered as a challenge with Dan.

Suddenly, Dan both pulled Phil closer and pressed himself more intently against Phil. Phil smiled into the kiss when Dan suddenly let his hands wander into Phil’s hair and Phil could not supress a low moan.

Dan jumped and his eyes widened for the fraction of a second, before he quickly hid his face in the crook of Phil’s neck.

“Dan. You are the most ridiculous enigmatic person I have ever met.” Phil said, rubbing soothing circles over Dan’s back. Dan squirmed a little, but he also relaxed.

“What?” he asked eventually.

“Here you are apparently embarrassed because of the effect you have on me, and then, you dress to the nines and try to make me lose my mind.” Phil only whispered this into Dan’s ear because in the position they were in that was obviously the most convenient method of communicating.

“I never tried.” Dan answered quietly. 

“And you always succeed.”

“Story of my life.”

“I knew you were gonna say that, and still think it’s wrong.” Phil said, putting his second hand onto Dan’s hips to hold him in place, should Dan try to flee. “Dan, you’re perfect. The only fault anyone could potentially find is you choosing me...”

Phil had not managed to completely finish his sentence when Dan suddenly kissed Phil forcefully so that he actually stumbled backwards a little bit.

“I knew you were gonna say that and still hate it.” Dan said a little breathlessly, leaning his forehead against Phil’s.

“Not a perfect quote.” Phil mumbled before focusing entirely on Dan and his mouth, evidently the sole place where his focus should be on in that moment.

Either because Phil’s comment had riled him up, or because he had lost the last inhibitions, either way, Dan was a lot less shy about the kisses and suddenly made it very difficult for Phil to stay upright.

Somehow Phil managed to guide them out of the kitchen, through the living room and into Phil’s bedroom. Actually, no. THE bedroom, not just Phil’s bedroom.

Some part of Phil decided it was an appropriate moment to be amused at that thought and giggle.

Dan groaned and rolled his eyes, which Phil had to accept as an appropriate response.

Phil whispered a soft “Sorry.” and gently lowered Dan onto the mattress, caging Dan underneath him.

Slowly, Phil opened Dan’s shirt and trailed kissed down Dan’s chest. In this case, Phil absolutely did not try to tease Dan. In reality, he tried to prevent himself from having a cardiac arrest.

“As soon as you put that shirt on, I couldn’t wait to take it off you again.” Phil mumbled and pushed the shirt off Dan’s shoulders, still pressing soft kisses to his warm skin.

Dan squirmed and blushed, hands securely on Phil’s hips. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lips.

“If this is you being sexy without trying, I honestly can’t imagine what you will unleash when you do try.” Phil had mainly meant to make a joke and to lighten the mood a little.

What he did not expect was for Dan to suddenly turn them around so that he was now the one sitting on Phil’s hips, holding him pressed into the mattress, not that Phil was complaining of course.

“I don’t know. Maybe something like this.” Dan said calmly and shrugged his shirt completely off his shoulders.

Phil choked on his spit having learned a very valuable lesson of not playing with fire.

Immediately, Dan blushed again and hit his face in Phil’s neck.

“Oh no. I’m embarrassing. Please just forget that immediately.” Dan mumbled.

“Come on, Dan. I am an open book to you. You turned me on, you idiot.”

“I did?”

“You did with everything you did. You being you is incredibly sexy.”

“You are ridiculous.” Dan laughed. He sat up again and shook his head, face still tinted a little red. “You truly are ridiculous.”

With that, Dan leaned down and caught Phil’s lips with his own. They were kissing slowly while holding each other tightly, but Phil could have genuinely not taken much more than that.

“I love you.” Dan whispered. Yes. That was already enough to make Phil’s heart stumble.

“I love you too.”

“I love you more.”

“I highly doubt that.” Phil said and couldn’t stop himself from giggling.

Just then, a soft but piercing cry filled the air. Both Dan and Phil immediately froze. Phil strained his ears.

Yes. It was unmistakably Phiphi who was crying and in some sort of distress.

Dan relaxed again and pressed a soft kiss to Phil’s lips, all of which turned out to be a deception because in the next moment, Dan quickly stood up. He climbed out of his trousers, into pyjama bottoms and grabbed a jumper of Phil’s before walking out of the room.

Phil dropped his head on the mattress for a moment and then got up too, to get into his own pyjamas.

While he was pulling the top over his head, Dan returned with Phiphi in his arms. Phil’s heart squeezed painfully at seeing Dan holding the tired and exhausted Phiphi with wet cheeks so gently.

“Oh, my darling.” Phil said and softly kissed the top of Phiphi’s soft head.

“I think she should sleep with us tonight.” Dan said quietly.

“Sorry.” Phil mumbled.

Dan had already turned towards the bed, but now turned back around to Phil. “Whatever for? We have all eternity together. I will always find you attractive and alluring, but chances are high, Ash won’t need us like this terribly often in life.” Dan smiled reassuringly. “Let’s make the most of these precious family moments.”

Phil felt a little chocked up. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“And I don’t deserve you.” Dan quickly said. “If you get that atrocious claim, I claim this!”

“Atrocious? Are you sure?”

“Shut up.” Dan grinned and softly kissed Phil. He then held Phiphi extra close and climbed into the bed.

Phil quickly followed after them and pulled the covers evenly over them.

Dan grabbed Phil’s hand and drew small circles on the back of his hand with his thumb.

“How about a Christmas Carol to say goodbye to the year?” Phil asked into the silence.

“As long as it’s off-key.” Dan said.

“We have to stay true to ourselves.” Phil agreed.

After a tiny bit of negotiating, they found a carol they knew more than thirty percent of the lyrics and started singing. Soon, Phiphi giggled again and contently lay between Dan and Phil.

“Good night you gorgeous people.” Phil said with a yawn after they had stretched the carol out for at least fifteen verses.

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Dan said.

“And I don’t deserve you.” Phil finished for him this time.

“Happy new year, you absolute idiot.” Dan mumbled and shuffled a little closer to Phil, as always careful not to crush Phiphi between them.

“To the first year of the rest of our lives.”

“No one says that.” Dan yawned.

“I just did.”

“Yeah. I heard.”

“I only meant that we have all eternity together and that I am looking forward to that.” Phil said taking his chances with waking Phiphi again with pulling Dan a little closer.

“Yes. I got that the first time.”

“And why didn’t you say anything?”

“’m tired.”

“We have now talked more than we would have had you just agreed.”

“Valid point. Will take that into consideration next time.” Dan said. He was now barely comprehensible even to Phil with all the yawning.

“I love you.”

“Same.”

“Dan!” Phil whined.

“Phil. I am really tired. Come on. I love you. Yes, I will marry you.”

“I didn’t ask that.”

“Not yet – and that was a direct quote.”

“You are ridiculous.” Phil laughed.

“And yet you love me.”

“So I do.” Phil admitted.

“I love you too, Phil.” Dan whispered and dropped off to sleep shortly afterwards. Phil only managed to stay awake for a tiny bit longer before sleep caught up with him too. It felt like a shame to miss out on experiencing this wonderful moment awake, but then again, they did have all eternity ahead of them.


End file.
